How It All Started

On 10/29/16 I was wearing a fluffy grandma mumu and laying in my bed watching Netflix enjoying my antisocial Halloween weekend. I heard a knock on the door and thought my roommate had forgotten her key so I rolled out of bed with my hair super messy and walked grudgingly to the door. I opened it and to my surprise, Spencer (who I pretty much never talked to) was the one who was outside. He looked at me and because of my appearance he felt so bad because he thought that he had woken me up. Nope, I was hiding under my covers watching a movie and yes, I suddenly then became very aware and mortified of my appearance. I quickly hid behind the door with only my head popping out in order to communicate with this guy without further embarrassing myself. Spencer was my roommate's home teacher and I thought he was looking for her so I told him that she wasn't home at that time. Then he said, "uh no, I actually came over to talk to you. Would you like to go on a date with me?” That was the first time that someone had ever been so straight up about asking me on a date; I had always been asked to "hang out" and it would always end up being double dates or group dates (which I hated because of my social anxiety). After nervously agreeing to a date he asked me what I wanted to do, what I would not like, and what I would be comfortable with. I was so impressed by what a gentleman he was when he asked me out (especially that he didn't run away at the sight of me) and how much he wanted me to be comfortable that I thought, "Man, I wonder if my future husband will be able to be that!" And a year later I am now married to this wonderful man who changed my life when he asked me on a date, even though I looked like I had just woken up from hibernation.

Often I can’t believe that I’m married. I had spent years not trusting men and generally just pushing people away, even if I wanted them in my life. I even did that with Spencer, continually pushing him away because I thought he would push me away first. But he never did, and even when I pushed him away he would stay. 

The summer before dating Spencer I had decided to take care of myself emotionally and mentally, and to love being alone with myself as well as being more open in welcoming people in my life.  However, I became firmly convinced that all I needed was me, myself, and I to be perfectly content for the rest of my life. I would only welcome people into my life to a certain extent, and felt like dating was absolutely out of the picture for me. Then Spencer came along and changed everything. 

When Spencer arrived in my life it was truly a test to see if I could continue to apply what I had lived in the summer as well as improve.  I decided to become more and more vulnerable with time, only to discover it was the best decision I would ever make—I gained a best friend, my husband. During the difficult process of healing emotionally and mentally from some stuff in my past, Spencer did not run away. Instead he welcomed my vulnerable self into his arms. Together we have been able to help each other overcome our trials and weakness, and have been able to provide added strength to the other person when they are struggling.  It is then that I was able to feel true love in my life; not only did he love me in my happy, cheerful times but he also loved me during the times that I was ugly crying and totally depressed. His love has changed me and has helped me heal. I hope I am a blessing to him as he is to me. I will always be grateful that he came into my life and decided to stay in it!